It was announced on Monday that PSCC will be closing its doors after this year. That means that this final week of class will be the last time I get to see my students. Commencement will be far more emotional than ever before - hugs will perhaps be final hugs - there is no hope of seeing any of these smiling faces waiting for me in the Fall.
I never wanted to teach at a Christian College. I also didn't want to be an English major or attend the University of Virginia - but that's beside the point. I far preferred pagans to hypocrites - better EvCC and a secular world than the weak faith and double-faced living that characterize many 'Christian' institutions. And though my two-and-a-half years at PSCC have been filled with trials, frustration, hair loss, burdens, and heartbreak, I'm so thankful God brought me to this school. I'm amazed at His goodness in teaching me through teaching others.
I have had the opportunity to share theology with my students they've never heard. I've invested in their lives, and they have ministered to me. We have laughed, and now, we have cried together. They have pointed out many of my oddities - kept lists of out-of-context and somewhat off-color quotes - challenged my conclusions - blessed me mightily.
I didn't know that day Dr. Krause asked me to apply for a full-time position that I would leave here so attached - I love these people.
For all the messiness of ministry, there is inestimable benefit. For all the times I didn't know what to do, when I prayed and begged for wisdom, joy, guidance, patience - the Lord grew me. I see a glimpse of how the sweetest fellowship comes from life-on-life - muddy puddles, mighty storms, sticky situations, humbling ineptitude. I've watched Him mature students. I've watched Him convict lives. I've watched Him transform me - all through His tools - His children.
It will be far harder than I ever expected to say "Happy Summer!" to my students Thursday and Friday. I wanted to watch my Freshmen eventually walk across that stage and smile at them. That will never happen now - but I am so excited to see what God has for each of them. I wish I was part of their stories as their future English teacher, but more than that, I'm so thankful I ever had the opportunity, because without Him, I never would have applied, nevertheless persevered.
4 comments:
It is sad that this is the conclusion that they came to. But maybe this is God's way of preparing you for your next stage of life, whenever that maybe.
Yeah..."whatever that may be"...I wonder what you're thinking Bekah ;)
I thought it was just your husband who is losing hair.
Thanks for your faithfulness to Christ and to the truth of His Word. Your perseverance was not in vain.
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