A few theology monkeys have been swinging about while I deep-cleaned our carpets today. What do you all think?
Situation:
A young lady desires to be married and have a family, but God has not brought along the right man yet.
Does that mean God will *either* bring a wonderful man along at some point in the future or change her heart towards singleness -
OR
Is it possible the young women can/would desire to be married her entire life, yet never marry?
I have always believed that God gives us sweet gifts and the desires of our heart, or He changes those desires according to His will. Would a woman (or man) long for marriage, while praying and serving and giving that longing to the Lord, his or her entire life and yet not get married?
8 comments:
Ps. 145 tells us that God fulfills the desires of those that fear Him.
I have a daughter who has had the desire to be a wife and a mom since she was 3. There is no higher calling for a woman.
That said; she needs to "seek first the Father's righteousness" and "Don't worry about what tomorrow will bring".
If God doesn't have a husband for her, He will change her desires for the gift of singleness. Which is a gift that not many have, but those that do have it need to be encouraged to maximize their gift.
Let me answer that question with a question:
Let's say I have a sibling who is unsaved and I deeply grieve over and earnestly pray for and faithfully pursue her salvation. Is that a God given burden/desire, consistent with what He defines as good in His Word? And then if she is not elect, will God change my desire so as to stop grieving and praying and pursuing? Or might He Spirit-enable my desire and while never changing His answer of No?
I should have added that if she is a believer she already has a wonderful Man in her life, her glorious Heavenly Father, who loves her much more than her dad or her husband ever will.
Lingering ever nearer to the foot of the cross in prayer and feasting on the Word, "the things of earth", in this case a husband, "will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace". About the time that happens is when The Father MAY chose to change her marital status, but by then either way will be perfectly fine with her, because her relationship with Him is what is most important.
This is true with most everything in our lives. God wants to know if we are truly willing to do it His way and in His timing, but He may give us all that we desire and more. We must leave it all up to Him.
That skh is one smart dude. I'm with him.
A couple of years ago I read this book that addressed this pretty extensively. I didn't enjoy the whole book, but I thought Maken was fantastic on this point.
Thanks Good Friends -
Hmm...I had never compared desire for salvation to desire for marriage. But that does make sense, though it seems that we would always desire the salvation of others - that could/should never change - whereas our desire for marriage could change if given the gift of singleness.
My prayer for my single friends should remain the same: That God will utterly satisfy them in Himself and give them overflowing joy in His promises, Word, and character. And, if He wills it, that He will interrupt their lives with an amazing, Godly man.
I had just told one single friend a few days back that either God would give her special peace in singleness, or bless her socks off with an amazing man. I was wondering if I was wrong in only considering those two options.
Hmmm... Interesting. For me the issue is with the term content. What I am basing my view of being content on? There are times that I feel that I am content, my life is very blessed and I do not long to be married. However, even in those times I hope that I am not gifted with permanent singleness. It’s a heart issue - am I rejecting the thought of marriage because I want to remain in my selfishness or am I using this time of singleness as a unique opportunity for ministry knowing that whatever God has for me will be amazing. Do I have biblical based ideas about both situations? Where is my sufficiency coming from? God or the future husband.
Back to your question. I would hope that if I have the gift of singleness God will take away the strong desire to be a wife and mother. That He would give me other desires that would replace those. While I understand He might not do that, just like He has not taken away my sickness, I know that He will sustain me no matter what. I have to constantly focus on how good He is no matter what circumstance I am in.
You're awesome Sarah. I so appreciate you.
Even though this was posted long ago, I feel compelled to reply.
David had the desire to build a temple for the Lord and yet God told him that it was not for him to build. God never took away that desire and He never allowed David to build the temple. David prepared the wood, silver, bronze, gold, etc to build the temple and prepared Solomon for the task, however.
It depends upon what we do with our desires. Will we praise Him for His goodness within those desires and be content with what we have and be joyful in Him? Or will we harden our hearts?
I have currently been thinking that contentedness does not come in the no longer wanting, but in the willingness and pursuit to live joyfully without receiving what you may desire.
(When Paul was hungry or naked or "stuck" on this earth -- did not he want to be fed, clothed, and in heaven?
Of course-- at certain times he got them all, but he was still content in those various situations because he was willing to keep a heavenly perspective.)
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