I was encouraging our Jr. High Girls the other night to fight for purity in light of a recent sermon on relationships. Perhaps it was too much information, but I know what it's like to be a Jr. High girl with Hollywood visions of weddings and kisses and honeymoons, so I assured them that:
It's a really hard fight. If you want to stay pure in your thoughts, emotions, and actions in courtship, few things will ever be as hard for you (I'm talking chub kid who hasn't run more than ten feet in her life trying out for the UW Crew Team kind of hard). The more you love that man, the more challenging it will be. No matter what track you take - dating, courtship, whatever - it's all a result of the Fall. In the garden God delivered Eve to Adam and the marriage began! Though many young women wish that still happened, the best and most godly of roads are the hardest to travel. You have to wrangle wayward, obstinate thoughts; saturate yourself in the Word; seek real accountability; stay out of compromising situations (just sitting in the car alone together is challenging!); and pray pray pray. Even then you might stumble, but God's way is the RIGHT way and TOTALLY worth it.
Your Wedding might not be the "best" day of your life. Now, it is amazing, but it is also weighty. It is not a carefree fashion party. If you do this marriage thing right, you will have at least one moment of 'oh my goodness, I am making a covenant before God for LIFE. That's a long time. What am I doing?!' followed by, 'I love this man and God is good and in control.' You will wonder if you have lipstick on your teeth, if you smell, how many people are coming, if you will pass out, what he will think of your dress, did the flowers arrive...? You might not find the rings, it could rain until one hour before your outdoor wedding - you might have a zit on your chin. And it's all okay. It's about praising a glorious God who wrote your love story, not the color coordination of your centerpieces.
Now, Andy and I waited until the altar for our first kiss, and here comes setting the story straight. I told the girls it was an awkward, strange moment. And it was, but I'm a head case. It was also sweet and right. I'm so glad we waited. That moment should be all about a goal raced after and a prize fought for. It should testify to the world that now this is utterly glorifying to God! Who cares if it was awkward? It was also thrilling. Who cares if I had no idea what I was doing? God did and does!
I encourage you all to fight. Maybe it's in your thoughts and visions as a young woman who dreams of her wedding. Maybe it's in your actions within a relationship. Maybe it's as a married woman delighting in the unique and perfectly-suited relationship God has given you. First kisses and honeymoons are awkward and strange and there's someone in your bed (and it might freak you out when you momentarily forget. But doing it God's way is always best, sweetest, and most joyful.
I love my husband. He's amazing and perfect for me. I appreciate him more and more each day, and the grace God shows in growing him and me. And it was a great first kiss.
3 comments:
I love you too and you are hot.
Awesome post! How did I miss all of these great posts! I love the way you explain things. It's all about the purity and patience! I don't think you can ever regret purity and patience.
That's so true - you can *never* regret purity or patience. Hmm. That's a one-liner to keep in the old noggen.
And Andy and I weren't perfectly pure - we stumbled. I tell girls often I feel like we started the relationship with $100 in our account and had $75 on the wedding day. I am thankful for the $75, but wonder what the $100 would have been like...?
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