I think it is time for the Ode to be displaced. Much has been going on - the crazy whirling monkeys (as I have affectionately named my thoughts) daily cavort about my head. I'm realizing that peace does not come from killing the monkeys, though tempting, but in taking each monkey captive. God wired my brain to go in twelve directions at once, but that does not mean constant anxiety. How exactly I can wrangle these thoughts towards Christ is something I fear will take my entire life to learn, but I'm trying.
I have been thinking more about suffering and trials. I think it's a combination of the passing of Andrew Mark, a realization of my comfort and (seeming) self-sufficiency, and that in February much of Spurgeon's Morning and Evenings revolve around the topic. Here is one of my favorite quotes from him:
"Like Gideon's men, faith does not fret over the broken pitcher but rejoices that the lamp blazes forth all the more. Out of the rough oyster shell of difficulty, faith extracts the rare pearl of honor; from the deep ocean caves of distress, it uplifts the priceless coral of experience. When the flood of prosperity ebbs, faith finds treasures hidden in the sand; and when the sun of delight goes down, faith turns her telescope of hope to the starry promises of heaven."
Also, the story of Tyndale has been rattling about, and the story about Tyndale's story has begun writing itself in my brain. This is somewhat terrifying, because once I begin writing a story or essay in my head, it at some point needs to escape (to make room for more monkeys).
How does all of this tie together? One of the recent minor trials was losing a class for Spring Quarter (primarily through budget cuts) to a full-time professor. The irony is I had been talking with the professor I thought would take the class if her Literature class didn't fill. Quite sure I was fine because her class was filling up, I completely missed that my other class was also in jeopardy. It sums me up well - thinking I am in control and everything is going fine, all the while God is faithful to throw the switch and slam me onto another track. And it usually takes slamming - I am silly and stubborn and in need of the proverbial 2x4 to open my eyes and get me moving. Or get me stopped.
So, although the loss of income is never pleasant, the day I found out I only had one class there were more robins around than usual. I remembered a visiting missionary's sermon a few weeks back on how each of those birds is representative of God's promise to us - a symbol, if you will, of His marvelous care. Those robins were beautiful, and I am excited to have some extra time on my hands. Maybe I will actually start writing that "fictional biography" on Tyndale. Maybe the extra moments will get sucked into the time vortex. Hopefully it means more time for service and reading the AMAZING books my husband brought back from Shepherd's Conference. But, now that I've written this, I'm sure many will help hold me accountable. And I appreciate that - I need to quiet some of these creative primates.
5 comments:
It is always amazing to see the swirling monkeys. I guess the hard part is deciphering where those monkeys are flying out of. Once the source is located, you then have to figure out if they are spirit monkeys, hot monkeys, or sea monkeys! Isn't life just like the primate house at the zoo? The little girls and boys are throwing peanuts at those monkeys, giggling with school girl glee. All the while the adults are eagerly anticipating the breath of fresh air outside! Let's face it, sometimes those monkeys are not pretty to look at!
Well, at least you are making headway sorting through the spirit monkeys, hot monkeys, and sea monkeys. Once taken captive, I guess each one is special in its own way. Silencing them is the trick. Censoring the spirit monkeys can be a breath of fresh air! Shushing the sea monkeys is a maritime marvel, but navigating this course can be a match made in heaven. The hot monkeys, known is some states as shower monkeys, they are a mystery all to themselves. Muting their cries can be a joy.
Regardless, it will great to see the fruits of these primates monkeying around in your mind. The world can only benefit from another book on Tyndale! Can I buy the first copy?
I have no "monkeys" to add, except God is good to bring us right down to the place where we absolutely have no control. When we have no place to go but to our knees before His throne, there is no better place to be.
Though it is difficult to swallow our pride, always trying to "help God out", we need not bother. We must only rest in His care, trust in His promises, and cling to His breast.
Thank you both for your encouragement - Curtis, your comment was a beautiful blog in itself!
Hey Leila,
I just read a news article where a well respected intellectual actually used your argument from "Ode to the Hybrid" that bovines are extremely un-environmentally friendly! "in an accompanying editorial, Barry Popkin, director of the Interdisciplinary Obesity Center at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, wrote that reducing meat intake would have benefits beyond improved health.
Livestock increase greenhouse gas emissions, contributing to global warming, he wrote, and nations should reevaluate farm subsidies that distort prices and encourage meat-based diets.
"We've promoted a diet that has added excessively to global warming," Popkin said in an interview."
What a strange world we live in!
-Erica W.
Erica,
WOW. That's all I have. I might include that in a sequel to my Ode (I will also discuss the Spork as a means of saving energy).
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