There is a lot that whirls around in my head on a daily basis - most of it is focused, sadly, on myself, and it's never good when I get stuck in my brain for any amount of time.
Some of the whirling content has included Zimmer's teaching on Colossians. It has been a fantastic bit of humbling, and it has inspired me to tackle The Excellent Wife and Feminine Appeal some time in the near future. It has also caused me to ponder work/teaching/raising Merian/college. It can be so mucky trying to decipher preference and doctrine on some of these points, but I think Andy and I have concluded the following (stay with me, it's a round-about sort of conclusion).
Is there any scripture saying boys should play sports (or girls for that matter)? No, there isn't. Now, in the right parental hands most see sports as a means of teaching excellent biblical virtues like hard work, leadership, responsibility, humility, etc. However, I could also argue that playing sports is a poor means of teaching these things, as men especially should hone such character elements through hard physical labor on a farm where there is no 'reward.' The emphasis is on service, family, and dominion-taking versus a game with no real service, no focus on family, a great potential for pride and sin (at least there was for me), and no actual 'dominion-taking' (as the only lasting thing you get from winning a game is perhaps a trophy, aka dust collector). It comes down to a preference issue, with parents deciding if sports are a good means of making their child more like Christ.
I believe college falls into that same category. College can be a tool to grow responsibility, godliness, time management, etc. in young women (and men). Not only that, it does equip for a life of singleness and, I'll admit, it's just FUN. Is it necessary for these things? Certainly not - no more than sports are essential for making boys into men. Can it be abused? People can argue - rightly - that college often leads women to focus on themselves/careers, buck submission, and be selfishly independent. Similarly, sports can take your time from ministry, focus attention on yourself, or easily become an idol. Does that mean sports are evil and no good Christian should play them? No. Does it mean college is evil for women and no young lady should ever attend? No. But, and this is different than how I've felt in the past, it also means that not every girl should attend college, just as not every young person needs to play a sport.
Before college, during college, and after college, should the attention be on older women teaching the younger? Absolutely, and though I had often assumed I would go back to teaching once our kids were grown-up, I determined after Zimmer's messages that I want to dedicate my time as an "older woman" to investing in young married women.
I will admit I often feel like a 'man' stuck in a female body. I wonder why God gave me a love of learning, or the ability to teach, when none of those things are "necessary" for being a godly mother or wife. Why do I get e-mails and comments from students saying I'm a good teacher, or I've impacted them like no one else, if I'm not really meant to teach? I love my job, but I love my family more, and I will (gladly) admit my teaching has suffered since having Merian. My brain isn't engaged like it used to be - I don't take extra time to study/read journals/etc. And that's okay. Perhaps it's a fault of college/working, but as the season of teaching (hopefully) nears a close in the next year or two, I will miss it. I love it. But I'm trusting that God has given me whatever gifts/drives/desires to invest in His Church and the children He has given us. I don't know how He will use the experiences and talents He has given me, but that's not my job to pragmatically figure out.
6 comments:
I only have a second, but Leila, not necessary for mothering? Even ruling out homeschooling, I'm not sure what kind of mothering does not need a love of learning and an ability to teach. A mother who does not pursue wisdom is not benefiting her children. A mother who does not teach them what she has learned is...not really a mother. I know you know that, but sometimes things slip into our thinking that aren't true and quickly demean our calling. Nancy Wilson has a great article on giving yourself a good job description that is really helpful on that topic. Your kids will be shaped by the person that God has made you and what He has allowed you to pursue and learn along the way.
I hope that didn't sound cranky. I meant it happy and encouragingly exhortation-y. :) See, that smiley face proves it.
I would have to agree with Mo. You will always use your teaching giftedness as a mother. It just won't be as challenging to you intellectually. But just because you are no longer teaching at a college level it doesn't mean that you can't use it. Denise Brown and Pam Jacobson are two women who have the gift of teaching and were using it write out Bible studies. Just as much discipline are needed but there is an eternal value that is there as well. I know that your post was more talking about the level of teaching that you have come accustomed to, I understand that but there are many other ways to use that same level of teaching!!
Thank you guys for your encouragement (don't worry Mo, you didn't sound cranky. That was also why "necessary" was in air quotes). Sometimes - and I know wrongly - I think Christians expect "workers at home" to be women who have fifteen children, kill their own chickens, and knit around the fire (none of which I can do...or plan on doing). Like, I feel if I can't really sew, but I love to discuss literature, that's not as good/feminine.
In my assumed picture, I don't see a woman with books piled around her, or a mother teaching her children Italian and how the Romantic movement in art related to the rise of Gothic litereature.
Yet, I know I am assuming wrongly about what most people think. And it's not biblical. And, perhaps there is some fear of man - I wonder if people are judging me because I can't make a scarf but I went to graduate school.
All of life is a balance. I am not the most balanced person.
There are actually many references to sports in the Bible. Wrestling and running the race to name a few. But sports out of balance can be an idol and a time waster. Sports in balance can be a serious platform for Christ to a dieing world, but the opportunities have to be taken when they come up. I watch Garrett on the basketball court and soccer field having fun with the other team and encouraging them (the other team), when they do well. That is ministry and evangelism that they would certainly not get many other places than from a believer. He really wants to win, but he knows that this is a platform for ministry. The same can be true for the young ladies, if they take the opportunity. Kimmy got the sportsmanship award at the girl's state golf tournament, which in my opinion is much better than getting first in state. She received it because she had the worst match of her year and yet had a good attitude. That is difficult to teach somewhere other than sports.
Sports take a lot of time that can be used as a ministry opportunity. If the time element is out of balance there is a problem.
High school sports are "free", if you take a small sports fee out of the equation and time.
Learning is also "free" and we are instructed to seek wisdom in the Bible. Does it take going to college, or beyond, to do that? College is certainly not free.
Everyone of us has a unique gift and you are no exception. I think about your small group. You and Teresa are a great tandem, because you are so different. Teresa is not a knitting, or sewing, machine, but she is a weeding machine. Many people don't really enjoy hard work, but she does. She looks at life much differently than others do, but she is valuable, just as you are in your small group and in the Body. Your small group can all grow in learning to love hard work, at home, and learning to love learning. We are commanded to do both.
Just because someone grows their own chickens, knits like a machine, weeds like a rototiller, thinks like a computer, or anything else doesn't make them better or worse. We are all to use whatever gifts God has given us to further His Kingdom, and to make more Image Bearers in the process.
College is always a touchy subject, even when it comes to the guys. BUT, ever person is unique, and every parents has to train their children in a way that honors God. The best way to do that right is to stick as close to His Word was we can. This is not easy, especially when it might be different than how we were raised, and is especially difficult when it is counter-cultural.
When Sean spoke on the Day of Rest, that was really convicting to me. Is this how America thinks about Sundays? No Way. It gets harder when this is not how most Christians thinks about Sundays. Is it easy to go a different direction than you have gone for the last 45 years? Is it easy to know that I have not lead my family in their understanding of what Sunday is to be about? NO, but that doesn't mean that I should just continue to do the same thing because everyone else, including many generations before me, did it that way.
The exciting part about the entire thing is that God allows us to learn about Him, and about all these things, at this exact moment in our lives. He know we can't change what we have done in the past, but we can change what we are are going to do in the future with what He has given us today.
Being a mom is the highest calling for a woman, but mot every woman will be a mom. Being a GODLY woman is the highest calling a mom can have, and God is faithful to teach us when we are faithful to ask and desire to be taught.
You are a gift that is different than many of the young ladies that are under your care. Our "job" is to help our "sheep" be complete in Christ, even if that is very different than we are.
Sorry for the long post.
Thanks Chuck - I really appreciate your 'long' post. I didn't consider the cost element to sports, perhaps because the sport I chose took a good bit of coin! And even though I like the idea of sending Merian to a place like Masters, I cannot fathom being able to afford it. I was always raised thinking I should pay for college/work/etc., but it's at all financially wise to carry - what - $80,000+ into, potentially, a new marriage. Where that leaves us, time will tell - and I can only imagine what our world and 'higher education' will look like in eighteen years.
It is good to remember that God uses very different people working together to help grow His sheep. I've always found it amazing that each of us is being conformed into His image, and yet we are all still so very unique. Obviously He is doing something good with my flawed self, and has put life experiences in my path to shape me in certain ways.
And your wife is fantastic. I really, really appreciate her.
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