Prudes & Prunes

I've been marinating over the numerous and sundry comments about signs/words of affection between married people that meta-chatter has been discussing over my last blog. As I thought about it, I wondered why it is that non-married couples are always holding hands and showing each other affection, whereas married couples usually act somber and professional. I believe some of it is rooted in Victorian (1850-1901 England) concepts of (middle and upper-class) marriages. Most were based around wealth and social status - it was economic maneuvering. As a woman, all your prospects rested upon "coming out" when you were 16 and being married within two to three seasons. Women and men used separate staircases, slept in separate bedrooms, and viewed sex as a necessary evil to produce heirs. Add this to a culture with rigid etiquette rules (for instance: "meeting a lady in the street or in the park whom you know only slightly, you wait for her acknowledging bow - then and only then may you tip your hat to her, which is done using the hand farthest away from her to raise the hat"), and you get a society where the most physical contact you would EVER see might be a kiss on the hand or an arm around the waist.

Yet in our era, the media bombards us with examples and images of dating couples who are having all the fun versus the drudgery and frustration of then being "chained" to someone for life. (So it's our job, as the happily-married, to show how GREAt marriage is!). Even this weekend as I met some parents from 4-H and was asking one about her daughter (a little younger than me), she told me she's dating a guy but not looking to get "tied down." One of the other parents said, "good for her!" and I'm thinking - huh?! Why wouldn't you want to?! Why is there this sense that adventure and fun only happen before you're married, and then you're forced into a life of banality and boredom?

Marriage is the most fun thing EVER! (Terrible grammatical sentence, so sorry). True, it brings (many) opportunities to realize how selfish, sinful, and prideful you are - but God is so gracious to grow us in our relationships! Being married to Andy has brought incredible joy and growth to me - seeing God maturing and sanctifying your spouse is a continual cause for thanksgiving, and understanding that marriage and love are free gifts that a good and great God created to mirror our relationship with Him is AMAZING! I'm just so tired of marriage being portrayed by this dying World as a curse, weight, kill-joy, and transitory stop in one of many stores in the mall of Love (lust).

Seriously - do you understand not only the blessing, but the responsibility attached to marriage? When you get married, your relationship is a model of Christ's relationship to the Church! That's a hefty call to love, serve, support, and sharpen one another. When someone looks at your marriage, they should see a (albeit flawed) picture of Christ's love for us, His bride! Ultimately, our love for Christ should overflow into our relationships, marriage or otherwise - I know as I grow in loving God and pursuing Him, my love for Andy will grow deeper and more Christ-like. What a great gift from God! He has blessed us with companionship and fellowship - first with Him, and then with each other. Marriage is a sweet, incredible adventure - it's a tool God uses to fashion us more into His image. It should be cherished, applauded, and showcased. Now, Andy and I will do our best not to gross anyone out - but I'm super-excited for this amazing gift I don't deserve and the joy, blessings, and challenges to come!